A Killing in Euthanasia

I've always missed out on ground-breaking opportunities.

Weight-Watchers was founded before I was born. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles never would have occurred to me. There's so much that predates me or just was beyond my ken. Telephones, airplanes, automobiles all were the work of geniuses. And even now, Al Gore says he invented the Internet when this entire concept was far from my grasp--to be honest, I still don't understand it fully.

But...

I think I've found my niche, my entry-level chance.

It is obvious that tanning salons soon will be outlawed, because it has been determined that tanning salons cause skin cancer. And skin cancer is not good for the American taxpayers, because it is the taxpayers who will have to bear the cost of the medical care for the unfortunate afflicted patients.

Once all of these tanning salons close, however, their mass of vacancies will be a further burden in depressing an already-depressed real estate market. On a wholesale basis, those places must be filled.

Let's fill these locations with euthanasia salons. (Funny word, "euthanasia;" has nothing to do with children in China. No, it means mercy killing. What a wonderful concept for society!)

Euthanasia is the decent thing to do. The Democratic Party is correct: No one has the right to linger past his or her own fair life expectancy. The expenses of illnesses and patient care are unreasonable to foist on an unsuspecting populace. None of us are entitled to become a financial burden on society or to use more than our reasonable allocation of oxygen.

How about calling this chain Gotta Go? Kind of user-friendly, wouldn't you say? Casual and non-threatening.

And, for once, I'd like to get in at the beginning. There's a killing to be made in euthanasia.